Primeval Match com
by pinkcat4569
Summary: It's Valentine's Day and Jess throws the ARC a party, complete with "fun" computer dating. Will it be fun when certain people are not happy with who is supposedly perfect for them? Jess/Becker a couple.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Primeval Match . com, Chapter One

Author: Pinkcat4569

Rating: mostly G, it's about dating and romantic matches so there will probably be some innuendos.

Description: It's Valentine's Day and Jess throws the ARC a party, complete with "fun" computer dating. Will it be fun when certain people are not happy with who is supposedly perfect for them? Jess/Becker a couple.

Disclaimer: This is only for fun, I don't own Primeval, the characters, or the matching sites.

Author's Note: The title is taken from one of the many dating or romantic match sites in America. I've never been to one of the sites and I didn't want this to be an account of how they work. As Jess says, "it's fun." Connor though, in my opinion, would be intrigued by the science of matching people. I took information off the internet about how these sites match, but I didn't want to get too bogged down with details.

This is another late Valentine fic as I got shot by Cupid kind of late. P.S. The description of Coconut Ice was found on the internet.

1434 Words, this chapter

P.S. This site is altering the title. It's kind of funny. The title should be Match . com but all in one word, and it's not coming out that way.

Primeval Match . com, Chapter One

Jess hummed as she straightened the red lace overlay on the white table linen. "Perfect."

"Yes, you are," said Becker, staring at her and smirking.

"I meant the table," she said, giggling.

He smiled as she walked over to him and gave him a small kiss. "Thank you though."

"You sure are going all out," he said, looking around the canteen. "It looks like a swarm of cupids attacked."

She laughed and punched him slightly in the arm. "Stop it. I love Valentine's Day."

He smiled. "I know. That's why I brought you this," he said, handing her a small red foil-wrapped heart.

"Thank you!" she cried, throwing her arms around his neck. "You're a good boyfriend."

He smiled. "I try."

She giggled. "Actually…" she said, moving over to her bag and taking something out of it, "I'm a fairly good girlfriend." She handed him a small tin.

He smiled. "Thank you, but seeing as how you'll probably be attacking these chocolates, it's kind of a selfish gift, don't you think?"

She swatted him again. "You better behave! That was rather a rude thing to say!"

He started opening the tin. "I notice you aren't denying that you'd do it."

"Actually I would," she said with a giggle. "That is, if they were chocolates."

"They're not? That was smart Jess," he said, "and considerate."

She smiled and watched with anticipation as he opened the gift. His brow wrinkled as he took in a strong smell of coconut. She giggled as he asked, "Jess, are these…"

"What, Honey?"

He pulled out a small pink sugary chunk. "Jess, this looks like Coconut Ice."

She smiled brightly. "Does it?" She giggled. "Well, you did mention how much you missed your great-grandmother's homemade sweets and I think you did specify that Coconut Ice was your favorite."

He bit into the square. Two things happened: his eyes shut automatically and he began to make a mmmm sound.

Jess giggled. "I guess you like them?"

He nodded. "Granny's didn't have a strawberry flavor to them but I'm not complaining."

She smiled. "Good."

"Yes, they are. I hope you kept the recipe."

She giggled. "I did. They're easy to make really, mostly just sugar, evaporated milk and coconut. The secret is to let them dry so they get a bit crumbly."

"Mmm. Sorry, what did you say, Honey?" he asked.

She laughed. "I'd be offended that you're ignoring me, but seeing how it's my fault, I'll let it go."

He nodded. "Good. I'm just going to ….sit over here…and get iced." He winked. "Thank you by the way."

"You're welcome," she said, giggling as she went back to her decorating.

"OK, Jess, we're all set," said Connor, walking in with a large stack of papers. He stopped talking as he saw Becker. "Oh, I didn't realize…" He stopped. "Becker's here," he said, quickly forcing a grin.

"Yes, he is," Jess said, "but don't worry. He's in a very good mood."

"Really? When we discussing the entertainment, he seemed…unhappy with our plan."

Jess laughed. "He's fine with it…now. Watch." She turned away from Connor and called to Becker. "Honey, we're going to hand out the results from the computer matches soon, is that fine?"

"Mmm…. What Jess? Oh, sure whatever you want. Great."

She turned back to Connor and smiled. "See?"

Connor laughed. "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing. I just gave him a Valentine, that's all."

"Was it laced with alcohol?"

Jess giggled. "No. However strawberries and coconut appear to have a similar affect," she said as Connor looked baffled. "Let me see one of the result sheets."

Connor handed her a sheet of paper decorated with hearts and roses.

"Ooh, they look fantastic on the Valentine paper stock I found," said Jess.

"It's a bit cutesy for me," said Connor, "but hey…it's Valentine's, so whatever. Anyway, it's what's on the frilly paper that's important."

Jess smiled. "Fun. It's fun. I hope no one takes it too seriously."

"You mean you hope Becker doesn't get angry and take it out on the poor blokes who happen to match with you?"

"Connor, that won't happen," said Jess. "Becker is my perfect match." She smiled.

Connor laughed. "I don't know. Don't get me wrong; you guys are cute, and Lord knows that Becker needs your calming influence. It's just…you two seem a bit…opposite…to me."

Jess laughed. "We might like different things. I like shopping. Becker doesn't care for it, unless it's guns."

Connor laughed, sneaking a look at Becker, who was still in another world.

"Plus, he seems to view life a bit less colorfully than I do," continued Jess.

Connor smiled. "Different philosophies. Yeah. You shop to live. He shoots to kill."

Jess giggled. "True love is one of the magical mysteries of life. Take you and Abby. It's hard to understand at times." She shot him a teasing glance.

He just smiled. "Abby and I make perfect sense. As far as figuring out love, that's where Science comes in."

Jess scoffed. "I refuse to believe that something as amazing as Love can be dissected and reduced to a formula or program." She stopped decorating and looked at him.

Connor smiled sheepishly.

"Connor, you did match people with my questionnaires, didn't you?"

"Of course," he said with a nod. Jess smiled. Then Connor admitted, "I also used the more scientific system that I developed."

"Connor, no! You promised!"

"It's fine, Jess. I worked all the bugs out of it. You'll approve now."

She stomped her foot. "Connor, that wasn't fair. You went behind my back!"

"I'm sorry, Jess, but the questionnaire is too easy to manipulate."

"It is not!"

"Really?" asked Connor, smirking. "You know you're going to match to Becker because you answered the questions in a way that will fix it."

Jess angrily stomped. "I did not!" She heard laughing behind her, very familiar laughing.

"Face it, Jess. Connor's figured you out. She so cheated," said her boyfriend.

"I did not!"

"And she 'suggested' my answers too."

"Becker!"

"See, fix," said Connor.

"It is not!"

Becker was laughing as he chewed. "What's it matter, huh? You said it's just for fun."

"It is," said Jess.

"Then why do you care what some computer says?" asked Becker.

"I…I don't."

"I'm happy with you, Jess, whether some machine says we're compatible or not."

Jess blushed and smiled. "I'm happy with you too." She walked over to him and kissed his head.

"And we are compatible," he said, pulling her onto his lap. "See, we fit together perfectly."

Jess giggled. Becker kissed her cheek and went on, "You figured out the perfect way to make me OK with this match business: bribery. Let me see Connor's program do that."

"Come on, guys, give me a chance," whined Connor.

"I'm sorry," said Jess. "I just don't see how science can accurately predict who a person will love." She looked at Becker. "Do you know how he's going to match people? He's going to do it with stupid things like height, weight, and how often they got chicken pox as a child."

Becker laughed.

"It's more complicated than that," said Connor, "but yeah, it's based on physiology and DNA."

Jess scoffed.

Connor said defensively, "It makes more sense than how a bloke answers questions like, "Do you like long walks on a moonlight beach?"

Becker laughed again.

Jess wasn't amused. "They're questions that weed out a person's likes, dislikes, behaviors, and goals. They find people who want the same things basically."

"And that's the flaw," said Connor. "It doesn't take into account things like opposites attract."

"Or in Abby Maitland's case how love is blind."

"Funny, Soldier Boy," said Connor.

"How does DNA pick who you'll love Connor?" asked Jess, a little derisively.

"It takes into account how a person's physical makeup affects choices. Let's say Becker can't have children…"

"Hey! My ability to…procreate…is none of your damn business!"

Jess giggled.

Connor ignored him. "Then he's more likely not to be compatible to someone who has a strong desire to have lots of children."

"We'll adopt," said Jess.

Becker turned red. "First of all, that won't be necessary," he said, winking at her, then he turned his attention to Connor, "Secondly, if you want to be able to have little Temple-Maitlands I'd suggest you change the subject."

Connor turned pink. "Changing subject. Trust me Jess, my program will work."

Jess shook her head skeptically.

"For what it's worth," said Becker, "I think both of your approaches are silly."

"Thanks," said Connor.

Jess just looked at him. "It's…fun…darn it!"

End of Part One


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two, Primeval Match . com

The canteen was packed. Everybody ate, talked and laughed.

"Not a bad turnout, Parker," said Lester. "I'm impressed."

"Thank you," said Jess.

"I thought it would be all hearts and roses and sappy music, but you've kept it rather dignified," he said, sipping Champagne. "I'm very glad you didn't present us with an all chocolate menu."

Becker laughed. "Chef Bernie wouldn't let her."

"No, he would not," said Jess, eating her fourth piece of chocolate cake. "However, I forgive him since the chocolate things he did make are to die for."

Becker laughed.

"I'm not sure I approve of the oysters, though," said Lester. "Don't want anyone getting too randy after all."

"Take it up with our Chef," said Jess, wrinkling her nose. "They were his idea."

"I'm also not sure I approve of your idea of matching my employees romantically with each other," said the ARC director. "Looking around I see enough couples."

Becker laughed. "I wouldn't worry, Lester. I seriously doubt Jess and Connor's little project will create any new couples, at least not ones that will outlast the champagne buzz."

Jess dropped her fork. "Becker! That's a horrible thing to say!"

"Relax, Miss Parker. The good Captain is not saying anything the rest of us aren't thinking."

"What a bunch of spoil sports!" she cried. "Way to kill the Valentine spirit!"

"Come on, Jess, we're just teasing."

"No, Becker, don't try to back track now," she said. "If you really hate Valentine's so much, then maybe you should just leave."

"Ooh…" teased Lester. "You're going to be alone tonight, Captain."

The table all laughed, but Jess was visibly upset.

"Hey, Jess, when do we get to see who our dream dates are?" asked Nicole Bilson, a sergeant in Becker's force and a good friend of Jess. She was also tall, blond, and beautiful, not to mention kind-hearted.

"You know Bill," said Vale, third in command under Becker, and also tall bond and gorgeous. He was a flirty ladies' man, "if you're looking for someone who's a dream…"

"Stow it, Vale. Sir.

Becker laughed, but he noticed Jess was not smiling. "Cheer up," he said.

"You…leave me alone."

Vale's eyebrow went up. "Something wrong in happy couple land?"

Becker didn't answer and Jess turned from him and pouted.

"O…Okay," said Bilson.

Becker frowned. "Jess? Come on Jess. Look, I'm sorry."

She huffed.

Becker sighed. He stood up and barked for order. "Thank you. I just wanted to take a moment and point out that Jess," he smiled and blushed, "I mean, Miss Parker…"

The room laughed at his momentary lapse of discipline.

"Miss Parker has presented us all with this little party. It's more than just a chance to eat Chef Rice's fantastic desserts and joke about taking out Cupid…"

"Yes, that discussion of earlier was disturbing," said Lester. "I know a large number of us are soldiers, but honestly a little naked guy with wings is hardly a match for the ARC's elite troops."

The canteen broke out laughing.

"As I was saying…"

"Oh, yes, sorry Captain, proceed," said Lester.

"Miss Parker is a lot more than just our field coordinator." Jess turned and looked at him. "She's our link to the world outside the ARC, including lattes, short skirts, and Valentines."

There were a few chuckles. Jess blushed.

He smiled back and continued speaking. "She's made this little…diversion…for us and I think we should all acknowledge that she did a fantastic job."

The crowd broke out in cheers and shouts of Jess' name. Jess looked appreciatively at Becker as he sat back down beside her.

"Here, here!" cried Lester, as the uproar died down. He stood up. "I propose a toast…to Miss Parker."

The entire canteen held up their glasses and cheered

Jess turned pink. "Thank you," she said, smiling and nodding at the crowd. She then leaned across and tenderly kissed Becker. "You can be so surprising."

He smirked. "You deserved it."

"And it got you out of the doghouse, Captain," said Lester.

Becker chuckled. "Well, that's not entirely why I did it. I meant every word."

Jess smiled and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry. I've been frazzled over this party and I guess I got a bit oversensitive."

"Don't worry about it," he said, kissing her again.

"Hey, hey, hey! That's enough! You've got your dream girl, Cap ," said Vale. "I want my list lovely young applicants!"

"Lovely, young…applicants?" asked Jess. "That's terrible, Vale!"

"Wow. You are such an idiot," said Becker, chuckling, "but luckily we're all used to that fact."

"Luckily," said Bilson.

"You know you love me," Vale said, smiling flirtatiously at her. "What better place to admit it then at a Valentine's Day party?"

Bilson rolled her eyes. "If you're one of my matches, I may have to transfer."

He smiled. "Are you sure?" He handed her a glass of champagne and offered her his arm. "Why not hear my plans for our date?"

"Your date?" asked Jess. "Nicole, you didn't tell me he asked you out, lately, that is."

Nicole shook her head but took his offered glass of bubbly. "He hasn't. When was the last time, a month ago?"

"I can't wait forever, Nicki," Vale said.

"Don't call me that."

"Wait, Vale you just said you had a date with Nicole."

"No, he didn't," said Becker. "Vale tends be a bit open as to who he actually dates. When he said 'our date' he didn't mean Nicole specifically. It could any woman."

Jess looked aghast.

Vale shrugged. "I'm flexible."

"You're a louse," said Bilson.

"I prefer to think of myself as a hopeful romantic always looking for love."

"Always," said Becker, chuckling.

"Especially on Valentine's Day. That reminds me," said Vale, turning to Nicole. "Want to be my Valentine?"

"No thank you, Vale," said Nicole.

"Oh, well. One less."

"One less? Vale, how many women did you ask to be your valentine?" asked Jess.

"This year? I think it's only been about five," said Vale.

Nicole shook her head.

"That's disgusting."

"Don't get me wrong Jess, I mean, Miss Parker," said Vale, looking with worry at his superior officer. When Becker didn't react, Vale sighed with relief. "I treat all my ladies with tender care and respect."

"You're a two-timer," said Jess, "I mean five-timer."

"Oh, no. All my women are informed of the others."

Jess looked incredulous. "You're joking."

"No, he isn't," said Nicole. "I've seen it. They go out with him anyway."

"They love me enough to share."

"They're dumb," said Nicole.

Jess laughed and nodded. "Which is why," she said, "Nicole will never go out with you, that is, as long as you have others. She's not dumb."

Nicole smiled and shook her head.

"Well, then she's in luck," said Vale. "One of my matches this evening, will get me and only me. For at least the next 24 hours."

"Like I said, you're a louse."

"Don't you even want to hear where I made reservations for dinner and the evening's entertainment."

Nicole wrinkled her brow. "Fish and Chips and a seedy motel room?"

Becker laughed. "She's got you sussed."

"No," said Vale. "I'll only tell you about the restaurant if you sit with me. As for the entertainment, Jess and verify that I have tickets for a West End show."

"He does," said Jess. "Nice seats, too. I arranged them."

Nicole raised an eyebrow. "Well…" she took his arm. "I guess sitting with you in a crowed canteen should be safe."

Vale flashed his winning smile and led her to the table beside Jess, Becker and the rest of the team.

"That's an odd pair," whispered Becker.

"I don't' know," Jess said. "They seem pretty compatible to me."

"You're confused; you mean combatable."

Jess nearly choked on her cake. "That's true too."

"Miss Parker," said Chef Bernard Rice. He was an older, rotund man with a kind face. "My staff is growing…impatient. I'm afraid if you don't start the entertainment soon, they may go digging for my reserve Champagne."

"How dare they!" cried Lester. "Since I'm already matched, I'll lead the defenses. Who else is happily married, hmm? Lieutenant Flowers!"

Sitting beside Vale and Bilson was a young, fit soldier of African heritage. "Sir?'

"Gather up all the marrieds and have them report to the kitchen!" Lester then stood up, took the champagne bottle he'd been draining and walked to the kitchen.

"How much alcohol has he imbibed?" asked Emily.

"Apparently too much," said Flowers, getting up. "Don't worry, I'll see to him."

Becker nodded. "Thanks, Fred." Flowers nodded as he followed Lester into the kitchen.

"I think you're going to have to start with the…fun," Becker said.

Jess grimaced slightly. "It is fun." She kissed him quickly and got up. She moved to the center of the canteen. "OK, everyone!" she called loudly. "Please, everyone!"

"Quiet!" yelled Becker.

Silence filled the canteen.

Becker smiled.

"Thank you….Captain," she said, smiling as she shook her head. "Men."OK, let's get this party moving!"

End of Chapter Two


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three, Primeval Match . com

"Tonight we will be handing out the results to the romantic matches," said Jess.

The canteen yelled and hollered.

Jess waited for quiet. "We achieved these results by using two approaches: a more traditional questionnaire method and a newer, somewhat controversial approach."

"What's the controversy?" asked a tech.

"Jess doesn't buy it," said Connor, walking over and smirking at her.

"He…suggested that the questionnaire may not be reliable."

"Right," said Connor. "You can manipulate the answers."

Jess frowned. "I disagree, but for the sake of keeping the peace, we used both."

"My approach," said Connor, "Uses biological data, like a person's physical makeup, to predict how that person will choose a mate. Then a match is made to a person who fits the criteria."

"I don't get it," said Vale.

Bilson laughed. "Do you care?"

"Heck no! Reveal to me my ladies!" Vale winked at Nicole. "Good luck."

"Are you for real?" she asked, sipping the champagne.

Vale smiled widely and shrugged. "I can't even always tell."

Nicole laughed. "OK, that I believe."

Jess shook her head, laughing at the lieutenant. "I'd like to point out that this is just for fun. These results should not be taken too seriously."

"So if you match up with the Captain, ladies," said Vale, "keep in mind that Jess looks frail and sweet, but I've gotten on her bad side before. My advice to you is, don't."

"That is good advice," said Connor.

Everyone laughed.

Jess blushed. "These are in alphabetical order," she said, handing out the A names. "On each paper you will find two lists, the top one is the list of compatible matches according to the questionnaire answers."

"Which will not be as accurate as with my method," said Connor, smiling.

Jess shushed him. "Do not influence them," she said. "The second list comprises people that are supposedly compatible based on Connor's system."

"Hey!" he cried, as Jess giggled. "That's just rude," he said.

Jess had reached the B names, and before she handed his to Becker, she began to read it.

"I beg your pardon," Becker said, wrenching it from her manicured hands. "How about some privacy?"

"Becker, I'm your girlfriend."

"Right, which means he no longer gets any privacy," said Matt, smirking. Emily hit his shoulder.

"But I just…" said Jess, trying to glance at the paper. "I'm just curious."

"Sure you are," said Becker, skeptically.

"You haven't already read his?" asked Abby.

She frowned and glared at Connor. "He locked me out." Connor laughed.

"Really?" asked Becker. "You?"

"It is his computer system," she said, continuing to pass out papers. "Occasionally he gets the upper hand."

"I just wanted everything fair, that's all," said Connor.

"So you didn't sneak a look at Abby's?" asked Jess.

"That's different. We're engaged," he said.

"Why did you include established couples?" asked Emily. "It seems…foolhardy at best."

"Violent and deadly at worst," said Matt.

Emily eyed him. "Perhaps I should read your list."

"Let me read yours."

"Of course," she said. "I am not inexperienced with matchmaking. I do not however hold it in a very high opinion."

"Keep that in mind," said Matt, handing her his lists.

"It's all just fun," said Jess. "It's like…when you take a quiz in a magazine or read your horoscope. You're interested, but you're not serious. It's like that."

"Right," said Matt, watching as his girlfriend read his compatible matches. "Interesting."

"Get anyone good?" asked Connor.

"Matt has been matched with me," Emily said, "according to Jess' method."

"See? Perfect," said Jess.

"The other list…"

"Mine," said Connor.

"Has matched Matt with Suzanne from the menagerie, Private Yates, and…"

"And?" asked Jess.

Emily looked at Connor. "Abby."

"You're kidding," said Abby, chucking. "No offense, Matt, but no way."

Matt smiled. "I agree."

"It probably considered them compatible on the basis that they can both kick butt," said Connor.

"That's biological?" asked Jess.

"Oh, yeah," said Becker. His troops all backed him up.

The canteen laughed.

"There is an even more intriguing name on his list," said Emily. "Jess."

"Me?" she asked with surprise. Then she looked at Matt, who winked at her. "I…I don't…I mean…you're nice and all…"

"Jess, calm down," said Becker. "Fun, remember?"

She blushed and laughed embarrassedly. "Right."

"No offense, Jess, but you're a little too bright and happy for me," said Matt, winking again.

She giggled. "I agree." She sighed with relief. "Connor, what was your system thinking?"

Connor was at a loss for words at first. "It's scientific!"

Abby laughed. "I'm sure it is, Conn."

"They're both young and fit," said Connor.

"Excuse me?" asked Becker.

"I'm not trying to fix them up Action Man, I promise," Connor said. "I'm just trying to explain how the software might come up with seemingly strange pairs."

"Connor," said Jess. "Relax. It's fun, remember?"

"Yeah, sure. It's…scientific, though. Honestly."

"Moving on," said Jess, passing the papers around. "Here you go, Bill."

"Thanks Jess," said Billson. "Let's see."

"Yeah, let's," said Vale.

Bilson read the top list and smiled. "Jess' questionnaire did not pick any soldiers. That's a relief."

Jess giggled.

"Speak for yourself," said Vale. "I think your system is flawed, Jess. Read Connor's science one. We have to be matched there."

Bilson glanced at him. "I'm a bit scared," she said. She began to read the last list. Suddenly she blushed and looked instinctively at Becker, then Jess. "It's all a bunch of…nonsense."

"You were matched with Becker, weren't you?" asked Jess.

"No big deal," said Nicole.

"Actually, it might give credibility to Connor's method," Jess said. She hushed her voice. "You did…I mean, you were…"

"I fancied him, Jess. You can say it. It's OK."

Becker smiled sympathetically at her. He then took Jess' hand.

"It's also over," said Nicole with a smile.

Jess sighed and giggled. "Of course it is."

Nicole smiled.

"Now that pairing makes sense," said Connor. "Both of them are soldiers, physically fit, have the same lifestyles and moral values…"

"Conn, sweetheart, shut up," said Abby. Connor glared at her and she nervously glanced at Jess.

"It's fine, Abby. I'm OK," Jess said.

Vale began to chuckle rather devilishly. "Well, well. Look who else is a match for the lovely Nicole."

Nicole moaned.

"Sorry," whispered Connor. "Please don't take it personally, or out on me."

Nicole was actually laughing, though. Vale was hamming it up a bit thick. "I've been telling you, Nicki. It's destiny."

"Shut up Vale," said Nicole.

"You matched with him?" asked Jess, grabbing Nicole's list. "Oh, that's so great!"

"Isn't it?" agreed Vale.

"It's a mistake, obviously," said Bilson coolly.

"It's science. Tell her Connor."

"Leave me out of it, Vale," he said.

Becker laughed. "So much for the credibility of Connor's technique."

"What?" asked Vale. "I'm telling you, it's in the cards for us."

"Why don't you tell her more about the fab evening you have planned?" suggested Jess, honestly thinking they made a nice couple.

"Oh," said Nicole. "You mean the evening that's not specified for any woman in particular, but is part of some sick 'winning' of the valiant Vale?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what she meant, right Jess?" asked Vale.

Becker laughed. "It sounds a bit trashy that way Bill."

"Let me sell it to you," said Vale, flagging a member of the canteen staff to bring them more champagne.

"I'm not going to get drunk," said Bilson.

"No worries. You'll still be impressed by my plans," said Vale.

Jess shook her head. "Moving on," she said, "because I'm getting a bit worried about the lieutenant…"

End of Chapter Three


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four, Primeval Match . Com

Jess moved through the crowd, passing out the papers. She then rejoined the table.

"So, who did everyone get? Abby?"

"I love you, Connor."

"Oh, I know Abby. No worries, besides no one takes these results seriously," he said.

"Except maybe Vale," said Matt.

"How is he doing by the way?" asked Jess.

"Bilson seems to be caving," said Becker. "It might be the oysters though."

They all laughed. "You were saying, Abby?" asked Connor. "You love me…"

Abby laughed. "Yes, I love you, but…"

"What?"

"These matches are lame," she said.

"Who did you get?" asked Jess, laughing along with everyone.

"Well, Connor's data paired me with Em's boyfriend, your boyfriend, and apparently Nicole's."

"Vale is NOT my boyfriend!" cried Bilson.

"Not yet," said Vale.

"On the plus side," said Abby, "the questionnaire paired me with Connor." She smiled and kissed him.

"See?" asked Jess smugly.

"Yeah," said Connor. "See? It proves my point. Abby wanted to match me."

"I didn't bother to fix the answers, Conn."

"No, but you wouldn't necessarily know you were answering them a certain way. It's psychological."

"Whatever," said Abby. "The questionnaire also paired me with a couple of the youngest guys in my section." She smiled.

"Um…you seem happy about that," said Connor. "Should I be worried?"

Abby laughed. "Of course not. I just figure it may be easier now to make them clean up after the creatures."

"Abby, you can't use my results as coercion. It's unethical," said Jess.

"I don't think it would hold up in court," said Abby, smirking.

"How about your matches Emily?" asked Jess.

"I have been paired with Matt," she said, smiling at him, "and with Chef Rice."

Bernie had been nearby with a tray of oysters. He heard. "I'm flattered, Miss Merchant, truly, but I'm a little too old for you."

She smiled graciously at him. "I do not believe so."

Matt raised an eyebrow.

"I do enjoy speaking with you about history and cuisine," said Emily as Bernie nodded and smiled.

"Jess, if I lose my girl because of your questionnaire, I'm going to be very cross with you."

"Sorry, Matt," said Jess, giggling. "The ARC and its representatives, that is, me and Connor, are not liable for the results of the matching processes."

"Or the cross-ness," said Connor.

"I think you're safe Mr. Anderson," said Bernie. Matt laughed.

Emily read on. "The matches provided by Connor are…Abby, what was the word you used?"

"Lame."

"Yes, thank you. They are lame, Connor."

Jess giggled hysterically while the others broke out laughing.

"What a bunch of science haters!"

"Who on earth did you get, Emily?" asked Jess.

"Only two of the men listed truly disturb me. The first one is the Captain."

"MY captain?" asked Jess, looking at Becker.

He laughed. "Yeah. I'm kind of glad she's the one who mentioned it."

"Do you agree?" asked Emily.

Becker nodded. "Oh, absolutely, although I wouldn't have called the match 'lame."

"How would you describe it then?" asked Jess.

"No way in hell."

Jess giggled and looked to see if Emily was offended. She was laughing as hard as the rest of them.

"I concur," she said.

Jess sighed with relief.

"The other man was, perhaps, more illogical," said Emily. "I was also paired with Lester."

Becker had taken a drink and now spewed. "What?"

"That's not right," said Connor.

"I know!" cried Jess.

"Yeah, he's married. He shouldn't have been a possibility."

"That's not what I meant!" cried Jess. "He's too…"

"I'm too what, Miss Parker?" asked Lester, appearing behind her.

"Oh…hi."

"Yes, hi," he said, looking at the laughing people. "Very funny. I do not actually see how having me as a romantic match is ridiculous."

No one said anything. They were trying to regain their composure.

"I do apologize," said Emily. "I did not mean to offend."

"Of course not. You have breeding, Lady Merchant. You come from aristocracy. As do I. Speaking from purely a scientific point, a match between me and you, or someone of your standing and grace makes perfect sense."

"Of course it does," said Jess.

"You'd be more believable, Miss Parker, if you weren't trying so hard not to laugh in my face."

"I'm sorry!"

"Who did you match up to, by the way?" asked Lester.

"Oh. Um. I don't know yet," Jess said.

Connor scoffed. "I know she matched to Becker in her questionnaire answers."

Jess read her paper. "Look, Honey! We matched!" she cried with fake surprise. Connor shook his head and chuckled.

"Who did I, I mean, the science pair you to?" asked Connor.

"Hang on," she said. She looked up with surprise. "I'm paired to…you?"

"What? That can't be right," said Connor.

"Makes sense to me," said Becker. "You're both computer geeks."

Jess looked appalled. "Don't call me a geek, Becker!"

"Me either!" cried Connor.

Becker smirked and leaned into Jess. "You're a gorgeous, adorable, desirable geek," he purred.

She giggled. "Thank you. That's better," she said with a warm pink glow across her face.

"And me?"

"You're just a geek, Temple."

Jess laughed and returned her attention to the list. "I'm also paired with…Vale?"

"Oh my, God! No!" cried Vale. He seemed genuinely panicked until he smashed his billionaire smile at Becker. "Curse these Adonis good looks and my charm that puts the brilliant nightingale to shame!"

"You ham," said Nicole.

Becker laughed. "It's a good thing he can joke about it." He looked at Vale and dropped all emotion. "I'm not laughing though."

Vale's eyes widened and he went pale.

Jess began to giggle. "Shame on you, Becker! Vale, I like you, but you're too intimidating for me."

"I know. I get that a lot."

Bilson rolled her eyes. "Jess was being polite. She meant to say that you're fake, arrogant, and annoying."

"Ouch. That's harsh, Miss Parker."

"I didn't say them!"

Becker laughed. "Maybe we should pretend you did, for the ARC's safety."

"And for Vale's."

"I knew you cared, Nicole."

"I know how much Lester hates hiring replacements."

"I really do," Lester agreed.

"Anyone else I should…keep my eye on?" asked Becker.

Jess smiled. "Let me check," she said, reading the rest of the list. "No way! Connor you must be joking!"

"Why? Who is the match?" asked Abby.

Jess looked at Lester.

"No way!" cried several voices at once.

"Not again. I'm a catch!" Lester cried.

"Sure you are," said Matt, laughing.

"Explain yourself Miss Parker," said Lester. "You do not seem as flattered as you should be."

Jess turned red. "Oh. It's just…you're a little…"

"Old."

"Captain, I can fire you."

"Stuffy," said Jess. "Yes. You're…refined. Look at you. Now, look at me. Our wardrobe styles alone indicate how different we are."

"True. I am a classic, while you are more a thing of the moment."

"Was that an insult?"

"Nah, he just meant that you wear the latest styles and fashion," said Becker. "You're fresh and lively."

"And Lester…isn't," said Matt.

Lester straightened his tie and held his head up high. "Dignified. I'm dignified."

Jess giggled. "Yes, you are." She turned to Becker. "Thank you, by the way, sweetie," she said, kissing Becker.

"You know, Connor, you've had some real misses," said Matt, "like with this May-December pairing."

"December? How dare you!" cried Lester. "I'm not near that old!"

"And Jess wouldn't be May," said Connor, "more like January."

"I'm not that young!"

Becker chuckled. "You're the perfect age."

Jess smiled. "It's your turn," she said.

"Okay, but remember…"

"I know: it's for fun," said Jess. She smirked. "And you're insanely in love with me."

"I am."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five, Conclusion, Primeval Match . Com

Jess took a deep breath. She was about to read her boyfriend's compatibility matches.

"It shouldn't be so bad," said Abby. "You already know some of them."

Jess nodded, "Yes. I'm starting with the questionnaire results. Ooh, look Becker," she said. "It says, 95 percent compatibility: Jess Parker."

"95 Percent?" asked Connor. "Jess, that's impossible."

She shrugged. "My questionnaire also pairs you with…Nurse Beverly. Really?"

"Makes sense," said Anderson. "She like helping people who are hurt and Becker gets hurt a lot."

The others laughed. Jess looked uneasily. "I guess. It makes sense, though, and I like Beverly…"

"Jess..."

"Yes, Becker?"

"We're not taking these seriously, remember?"

"Connor's method, no, we aren't, but my questionnaire shouldn't have paired anyone else…"

She caught Connor looking at her and smiling smugly.

"I didn't cheat!" she cried. Becker took her hand. "I'm fine, honey. Honestly fine. Now, about Beverly, oh wait. She only got 60 percent. That's better."

Becker laughed. "Good. Maybe we should stop there."

"Don't be silly. I'm fine. See?" She leaned over and kissed him. "Happy."

Becker chuckled and nodded. "OK, but remember…I love you and you love me."

Jess smiled brightly and kissed him again. "Of course. Now, to Connor's list." She scanned though the matches she already knew, like Emily, Abby, and Bilson.

"Ooh, this one is a bit of a surprise," she said. "I never would have guessed that Connor's data would pick her. Connor, I owe you an apology. This proves that your science has merit."

"The data picked you, didn't it?" he asked.

"Yes!" she cried shaking and shimmying about in her chair. "Look, Sweetie, right there, it says…'Jess Parker! We are compatible!"

She threw her arms around him. "I knew that already," he said.

"I don't get why you're so happy," said Connor. "Bilson, Emily, and Abby all got higher percentages, and he didn't even make it onto your list."

Abby grabbed his face. "Sometimes you just don't think," she said. She glanced at Jess. "It would be a good thing for you to stop talking like that, right now."

Connor nodded. "Right. Thank you, Abby."

She smiled. "Well, I can't have my Valentine spiked in some vital organ with a stiletto heel, can I?"

Connor shook his head. "No, and I appreciate it. You do love me."

Abby laughed. "Yes, Conn. I do."

Jess was elated. "We have scientific proof that we're perfect for each other!" she cried.

"Did we need it?" asked Becker.

"Of course not. Anyway, I'm so happy!" She jumped out of her chair. "Happy Valentine's Day everyone!"

"Happy Valentine's Day," the crowd shouted back.

"So," said Vale to Bilson. "What do you say?"

"What do I say to what, Vale?'"

He sighed. He moved in close and dropped his bravado. "What do you say to spending a nice evening with…a friend…on a day that can be a bit of a downer to perpetually single people?"

Bilson smiled. "I never thought that bothered you."

Vale shrugged. "As the hyenanodon who chomped on me a couple of months ago proved, I am human."

"Yeah. So am I." She smiled again. "As long as you don't have too many…expectations. We do still have to work together."

"I know, and I'm your superior so it could get….weird. Just a nice evening together, I promise."

"I'd like that…Bobby. It sounds nice." She kissed his cheek.

"Good," he said.

Jess and Becker had heard their conversation but said nothing to them. They just smiled.

"Thank you, Jess," Becker said.

"For what?"

"For ending my loneliness on Valentine's and all the other days."

"Aww…you're welcome. You ended mine too," she said.

He smiled and scooted his chair closer. Jess leaned into his chest and he simply held her.

"It's a brilliant day, isn't it?"

"Yes, Jess it is."

"Maybe there is something into Connor's science after all," said Jess.

"I doubt it, Miss Parker," said Lester. "He matched me with the mammoth."

The End


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